IN LITTLE WAYS
Why so weary?
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." I believe the burden he speaks of is our sins. We hear sin described as taking the easy way out, but, really, sin isn’t easy at all. Sin is exhausting.
Take pride. Patting ourselves on the back is hard work. We can only feel superior by ignoring the special qualities in the people around us. It takes real effort to sustain that kind of blindness. Pride runs us ragged, insisting, “I can do it myself!” It refuses to ask for help. Then it drains yet more energy by trying to control other people’s lives. The weight of pride’s delusions can crush us flat.
Envy is equally exhausting. Envy is always busy checking things out. Who’s getting the most attention? Who looks the happiest? Who’s the richest, best looking, or most powerful? Why isn’t it me? Envy is always comparing, always competing, always striving. Envy is a skinny, nervous creature, head constantly swiveling from right to left, never at peace, never content.
Envy darts here and there. Anger stalks. Anger stamps his feet and hammers the table. Anger is red faced and out of breath. He’s hot and sweaty, heart pounding, mouth dry. Anger is always plotting revenge. He sees insults where none are intended. He narrows his eyes, hunches his shoulders, and clenches his fists. Anger is always on guard, never at rest.
There is no rest for the greedy either. Greed is always wanting, always grabbing. Greed’s gotta have it right now. Greed gets into fistfights over Play Station III and goes into debt for a wide screen TV. Greed can’t play with the kids or relax with friends. Greed runs us into the ground, drives us relentlessly with a single word, “More.”
Gluttons, on the other hand, can barely move. They’re stuffed. “Nothing more for me,” says the glutton, “Well, maybe just a little pie.” Gluttons need one more drink to keep the buzz going. They pop pills at the first twinge of pain. They wiggle in their chair, take their sweater on and off, and constantly change the channel. They can’t bear being uncomfortable, bored, or lonely for even a moment. Gluttons can never get life just right, so they can never stop.
The slothful try to stop. They think they can postpone all labor by promising, “I’ll do it later.” Yet the slothful work harder than anyone. They can’t be bothered to poison, so they have to weed. They flunk the exam and have to go to summer school. They ignore their spouses and end up without them. They drink until they’re alcoholics. They must obey every impulse and serve every habit. They’ve said, “I can’t” so often they no longer believe in themselves or in the possibility of change. There is no wearier sin.
Except perhaps lust — that miserable, itchy, single-minded, simpleminded sin. So much effort for such fleeting pleasure! Once a girl’s trim waist or a man’s broad shoulders were enough to set the blood singing. Now it takes hours of stimulation to produce even a tiny thrill. Narrowly focused on one set of unreliable sensations, the lustful heart grows ever harder, weaker, and less satisfied.
Feeling cheated, the lustful become angry. The angry envy those who have more, and the gluttons become greedy. That’s what one sin does. It invites the whole family to come on in and stay.
Unchecked, sin will drive us till we die. Unless, by the grace of God and a last flicker of innate wisdom, we fall exhausted at the feet of Jesus.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.