IN LITTLE WAYS

It better be true

Have you ever had moments where Christianity seems highly improbable? Think about it. An angel visits Mary, and she becomes pregnant. The baby’s birth is dramatic, as in the family’s flight to Egypt. Not much happens after that, though, until Jesus is about 30. He walks up and down Palestine for a brief time preaching and healing. The authorities execute him as a troublemaker. A couple days later, he’s alive again. For about six weeks, various people claim to see him, and then he disappears. He will return someday, but no one knows when. Really, it’s a rather unlikely story.

The point of the story is even more far-fetched. Jesus’ death somehow saves you and me. Although we’ve done things we knew we shouldn’t and sometimes treated other people badly, God forgives us and will give us eternal life. That’s because Jesus has already taken the punishment that we deserve. We just have to be truly sorry, try hard, and believe in him. Frankly, it sounds too good to be true.

But it better be, or I’m in trouble. I’m 66 years old. I’ve known right from wrong a long time, and I still mess up on a regular basis. I can be selfish, insensitive, fearful and lazy. Every morning I vow to do my very best, and every evening I’ve got at least one regret.

There are those who tell me to just shake off all that Catholic guilt. Others say there is no God or eternal life, so I’m worrying about nothing. Life without God, though, seems pointless and sad.

The Jews tell me to follow the Law. Buddhists point to the Eightfold Path. Islam says, “Obey Allah and his prophet.” Everyone has pretty much the same rules. I know what they are. It’s following them that I find difficult. Other religions don’t offer any more help with that than Christianity does — less, in fact. At least we’ve got the sacraments and the concept of grace to strengthen us.

One of my favorite Bible passages is in the sixth chapter of John’s Gospel. Jesus’ Bread of Life sermon has driven away many of his followers. He asks his disciples if they are leaving as well. Peter asks, “To whom should we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

I think John prettied up the story. I suspect what Peter said was more like, “Yeah, right. You know darn well you’ve spoiled us for any other teacher. When you talk, I know I’m hearing the truth. I don’t always understand you, but I know you speak for God in a way no one else ever has or ever will. So where would I go?”

I identify with Peter. Sometimes it’s hard to believe Christianity is true, but it’s even harder to believe that it isn’t. I’d be truly lost if I left the church.

When I consider my spiritual track record, though, I get disheartened. I can resist the big dramatic sins like violence, infidelity, substance abuse, theft or blasphemy. Mostly, I’m too old and too chicken for them. However, small sins committed repeatedly for decades can destroy the soul just as thoroughly. Then there are all those sins of omission. Sigh.

When I turn my attention from myself to Jesus, I grow more cheerful. Yes, Christ speaks of repentance and judgment, but he also speaks of compassion and forgiveness. So do the New Testament writers, virtually every Christian mystic, and all my dear friends in Christ. They make pretty persuasive witnesses.

Deacon Keith Fournier writes in Catholic Insight, “The Master stretched out his arms to embrace all of humanity in redemptive love.”

That’s what I’m counting on. It better be true.